4 weeks...

That's how long it's been since I've run. Four long, long weeks. Seattle is starting to look like it may not happen...or if it does happen, it'll be only as a half. I originally thought I'd be back after a couple of weeks off and if I could be going again by the beginning of February, I'd definitely be doing the full, but I'd be surprised if I can even get the MRI scheduled by then. So we'll see...Speaking of which...

I had my 2nd opinion this past Wednesday and I really liked this doctor A LOT! He examined me and said it seems like I have plica. I'm on anti-inflammatories for a couple of weeks and will be doing physical therapy to try and help that. Basically, it's not life threatening or anything (and by non life threatening I mean I'll be able to run again...someday) it's just painful and in the doc's words "it just makes you lose interest" because of the pain. If it doesn't go away, it can ruin my joint though, and that's kinda scary...and that will involve some type of injections (see two posts ago), but we caught it early enough and with my age, we should avoid that. He also said the he didn't think I have a meniscus tear, but considering I was told that I did (and as we all know by now, meniscus tears don't heal on their own) he has ordered an MRI. It has to get insurance approval first, so that could take up to a week to get, then who knows how long to actually schedule. His orders were definiately no running until after the MRI, but I can do anykind of low-impact cross training so long as it doesn't bother me.

I'm trying to formulate a plan though because this sitting around and doing things as they come thing is not working out for me. I'm really one of those people that has to keep going, otherwise watching TV or sleeping will become a priority. So far I haven't had much time to do either one of those activities, thanks to my lack of CPA exam passing abilities, but I'm afraid I'm going to have a really rough time when I can get started again. So I'm going to go lift weights Monday, Wednesday and Fridays (just upper body since my knee won't cooperate) and I'm going to swim on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. I really want to bike, but it's been painful...I may try again next Saturday though, just to see. Our Jamaica trip is coming up so fast (exactly 3 months from today!) and I hate being like this, but I really want to look a little bit better in a swim suit. I feel ridiculous saying that because that is NOT the reason I even started working out, but there it is.

Our beginners group, In Motion, also starts in a couple of weeks. Both of my younger sisters have joined and I'm super excited about that. I'm hoping to be able to get out and do something - anything - with the In Motion group since they'll be there, so cross your fingers.

And I know I've been whiney lately and I've done nothing but complain...I know it's annoying. But at least by getting it out here, it's out and I'm not dumping it on everyone 24/7 the way I normally would (well, not as often anyway).

It continues

After talking to a few people (physical therapists and nurses included) I've decided to skip out on the injections. Coupled with the fact that the orthopedics' office wouldn't "allow" me to talk to my doctor - or anyone, for that matter - I'm going for a second opinion with a new doctor on Wednesday. This whole thing has made the pain in my knee travel up into my head. :( Even after the cortisone injection 10 days ago, I'm in pain and my knee now feels like it's going to give out on me. That has me worried.

In totally unrelated news, I sat for another section of the CPA exam on Friday and it was about as fun as dealing with all these knee issues. I should have results for that section in March sometime. I also sit for the section I failed on February 27 and a whole new section on April 20...5 days before we leave for Jamaica, unless I need surgery, in which case I may need to postpone the trip...news that the hubs doesn't quite believe yet. I don't want to plan for or against surgery, but it would really suck to have it come out of the blue and then to have my vacation ripped away...but our vacation policy changed at work and unless we can save up some serious amounts of money (kinda hard when you fail an exam that costs $250 to retake EACH SECTION plus whatever the insurance company won't cover for the actual surgery) I'm not sure I can afford vacation for fun and then vacation for misery.

Ugh, tell me it gets better.

I'm out for a little bit

Not that that's news or anything...or not that I haven't already been out for a while (2 weeks as of today). I'm just really flipping bummed and getting a little pissed off and doing the whole "why me?" thing. Needless to say, I had my appointment with the orthopedic surgeon on Friday.

It wasn't all bad, but it wasn't all good either. First and foremost, he said that I'm wearing down the cartilage in my left knee (the one causing the end of all happiness in my life)...according to him, this isn't too hard to take care of, but it needs to be taken care of ASAP in order to find out what is going on with my meniscus. So, in order to do this, he suggests a cortisone injection right then and there and then a series of three other injections in which they'll put this "gel" substance into my cartilage (I think...I need to do more research and find a better way to say this...I will not have some kind of cool, bionic knee after this). The sucky part about these other injections (besides the pain, and if you know me, you know that I hyperventilate, cry, puke and do all kinds of other fun things at the mere idea of injections) is that they need to be done once a week, at the same time ever week...and he only offers them between the hours of 9-11 AM, Monday through Friday. Yep, that works out just lovely with my crazy, out of town work schedule...but luckily I work for an awesome firm and they're working me around my stupid injections. I won't be allowed to do anything strenuous after the injections and - ::gasp:: - no high heels for at least the day of the injections, but I think I can survive that. It'll be rough, but I'll do my best (I am also the girl who showed up for the appt w/the ortho wearing 4 inch knee high boots.....keep that in mind).

Sooo...back to my scary problem. If these injections work out, I'll be able to start running again soon. If I can do it pain-free, I'm good. If I have pian, it's almost definitely related to my meniscus. About 10 years ago I was in high school cheerleading - shocking, I know - and I was doing this cool little stunt called a bow and arrow (Note: This is not me, this is some random girl I found thanks to Google Image Search...also, I am afraid of heights and did not trust the other girls to hold me up, so my cool little stunt was performed on the ground, where I *thought* I'd be safe). Anyway, I finally got my leg up to places that normal physical anatomy would not allow it, and the leg I was standing on suddenly gave out and I wound up in a heap on the floor...I couldn't really figure out what happened and it took me a little while to realize that my knee cap was currently sitting on the outside of my leg. I wound up with a nasty dislocated patella and a torn meniscus...but the ortho I saw at that time said I didn't need surgery, but he wouldn't be surprised if I would need it by the time I was 25...well, I'll be 26 in April.

So this new ortho that I'm seeing said that meniscus tears never heal on their own...but at the same time, you don't actually need to fix them if they don't bother you. Considering that for the past several years my only exercise consisted of moving from the couch to the fridge, it didn't bother me...but now that I do slightly more than that, there's a chance it's bothering me. He said that the fact that swimming last Tuesday night and the way he was moving me around hurt my knee, he'd be surprised if I'm not having some meniscus problems...but until I have this cartilage problem under control, there's no way to know for sure where my pain is coming from. So once I get that fixed, if I still have pain, I go in for an MRI to see where and how bad the tear is, then we discuss the surgery options...and I say goodbye to Seattle and probably to any other full marathon I was hoping to do this year too. The hubs is taking me to Jamacia in April, so any surgery would have to wait till after that. :(

So, sorry for the novel, but there it is...the bane of my existance.

Not running related, but so, so important.

I have a friend. I'm not going to say who she is or how I know her...I'm not going to give very many details about her because I'm not sure she really wants to be identified. Some of you will know who she is, and if you do, please don't mention who she is unless she makes it clear she's identifying herself...she'll know it's her. In fact, she probably already knows I'm talking about her.

She's beautiful, young. Happily married. One of the best friends I could ask for...someone who has held my hand through some hard times, and I don't think she even knows how much she's helped me out. She doesn't even live nearby, but she's done so much for me. I try to talk to her daily and I miss the days I don't get to. She's also getting deployed soon. She's happy about it, excited to serve our country with honor...and because she's happy, I'll be happy for her.

But as I'm sitting here typing this, my throat is hurting and my eyes are stinging because I'm trying so hard not to cry. She's strong...she'll be okay. She's promised me she'll come home safe, so I trust her. This is the first time I've dealt with someone close to me being deployed and it's scary and strange to feel a little piece of your heart leaving.

So, Friend...I've told you this a million, gazillion times since the news came out that you were leaving...I love you. Thank you for being you. And thank you for what you do.