Butterflies in my tummy

Uh oh...I'm doing exactly what I said I wasn't going to do. Tomorrow is my 18 mile training run...the one that is the Chips n Salsa half marathon with a 5 mile warm up...and this is ONLY a training run. Nothing else. But in my mind, it's turned into a race...or an "event" because we all know that there will be no "racing" where I am concerned. I tried really, really hard to focus on this being just another long, slow, weekend run with my group, but how many group runs require picking up a race packet, pinning a number to my shirt and getting a medal when I'm done? It's hard to keep things in perspective when they aren't the normal things at all.

I'm sitting here, at 5.30 PM and I can't concentrate on anything. Hell, I haven't concentrated on anything all week. Every time I opened my book to study, I was automatically computing pace times instead of calculating unearned revenue or construction in progress. Trust me, I'd much rather think about pace times, but I can't. My studying is suffering because of this and I'm worried about it. And this is JUST a training run. WTF am I going to do in six weeks from now when I'm sitting in a hotel room in Denver? Guess I better start begging forgiveness from the hubs, my padres and my poor friend, D, who's stuck going with me.

Anyway, my stomach is flipping, my hands are shaking and I keep forgetting to breathe (something that I hope I remember to do tomorrow morning). I know I can do this, I just want to do it in a way that I enjoy myself and can look back and say "wow, I had so much fun on that 18 mile TRAINING run." So, if anyone sees this before tomorrow morning, wish me luck. I'll be back tomorrow evening with a race - I mean training - report. In between catching up on my studying.

- Signing off for the last time as Duff, Newbie Racer