Hard decisions

I've decided to drop out of the Chicago Marathon. Just saying it out loud makes me sick to my stomach. I'm in a really weird place over it. I want to do it...running a marathon is indescribable and I've enjoyed every second of my hours upon hours of the two I've done. After running NYC last year, I was so looking forward to doing Chicago. Plus, I have an amazing friend who lives out there that I haven't seen in a really long time and another friend was going to be there the same weekend. But between an injury for the hubs (although he's feeling better now) and my PF acting up on a daily basis, plus a new house (with a new mortgage to go along with it) it's just hard to justify.

And what's probably the most important reason to skip it...

I'm just not that into it.

I feel so guilty for even thinking that way, but really...I just don't wanna. I've pushed through two marathons with other big life events going on in the background (CPA exam, job changes, etc) and now that things are calming down a bit I just want to sit. Well, maybe not "sit" (but that sounds really good too...) but go without a focus. I'm in decent half marathon shape right now and there are a couple of those coming up over the next couple of months. Maybe I'll do those. Or maybe I won't. Maybe I'll get up and run 6 miles on Friday...or maybe I'll make it 4 and decide that I'm done for the weekend...or maybe I'll get to the 6 and decide to keep going (unlikely).

So it looks like 2010 is shaping up to be a pretty interesting year. I'm curious, and a little nervous to see where I end up, at least fitness-wise.

Also, I know this is totally unrelated, but I wanted to send out a quick congrats and "I love you" to my sister, Hope...she's marrying an amazing man on Saturday! Pictures to come!