Sometimes I Just Need to Hear Myself Talk

…or type. Whatever.

My surgery is drawing closer – pre op is in five days– and I have very limited information on what to expect. This isn’t my doctor’s fault at all. He offered to tell me about it time and time again, but I thought that by keeping myself in the dark, it would never happen and I’d wake up one morning pain-free. Yeah, that didn’t happen and now I’m kicking myself a little bit.

Regardless, I have 100% full faith and trust in my doctor. Maybe I’m a little crazy just blindly trusting someone to slice open my body, but I’ve always liked him and felt confident in his work.

Anyway, I’m done whining.

So the hubs and I have been in our house for almost seven months now – holy god, where did the time go???! We have yet to do any decorating and it’s getting to the point of being ridiculous. We literally have two pictures hung (one is an amazing painting done by a very close friend, the other is a series of three wedding photos that my sister framed for us) and I haven’t put any thought at all what I want to do with the rest of the house. Until this weekend when the close painter friend brought it up (okay, he said that our house was really boring and I needed to work on that. True – harsh, but true...and FWIW, he said it with love).

So this is my idea. Please note that I am not an artist and this is not to scale. Also, the big squares are windows (which actually have white, wood blinds on them) and the little squares are pictures that I have yet to find. They are supposed to be the same size, similar in design and hanging in a straight line (although I’m not sure how many I’d actually need). There is also an armchair in the corner and we’re considering buying a couple of black leather ottomans to put under the window (or one big, long one…can you see how indecisive I am?).

So. That is what I want, in a nutshell. But it’s nearly impossible to find it because although I don’t know specifically what I want, I DEFINITELY know that I DON’T want anything that I’ve seen so far. It needs to be a little funky, but not completely out there. And they all need to tie together nicely and to be obvious that they’re related, but not matchy-matchy. Oh, and brightly colored too. Or maybe black and white photographs.

So, yeah. If you can find what I’m looking for, you get a gold star.

What’s that saying? If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself?

I’ve always wanted to be a photographer. My mom is a photographer and I grew up in her darkroom. I started to take classes when I was in college, but once I was informed that I’m not creative (not exactly a lie), I dropped it. Hence, I am now an accountant who has spent the past several months feeling lost and unhappy with where I am in life. Don’t get me wrong, I really like my job and I work with a great group of people. While I’m not sure that Beancounter is the right title for me forever, it is definitely where I should be right now.

But still…I’ve felt this disappointment in myself lately. I need a hobby. So here I am, with the 35mm camera I got when I started college and a roll of film, hoping desperately that I can somehow take the jumbled, disorganized ideas in my head and create something that I want to look at for at least the next couple of years.

And yes, you read that right. A 35mm camera and a roll of film. I’ve gone through two point-and-shoot digital cameras over the past five-ish years, the last of which died a horrific death on Halloween night, so I’m currently camera-less. I need a new point-and-shoot, but don’t have the cash to spend on it. And I really, really, really want a DSLR, which I definitely can’t afford right now. So, here goes nothing. An uncreative chick with a camera, undefined ideas and a roll (or six) of film. I feel better already.